This blog is about polyamory, queerness, and sex positivity -- I will chronicle my musings, opinions, advice, adventures, and misadventures in open relationships and exploring my gender and sexuality. Come along for the ride!
I am an early 20's polyamorous queer and genderqueer sometimes-ladyish person looking to create a society of understanding and acceptance of polyamory and sex positivity. Since most people are either unaware, unsupportive, or have misconceptions of polyamory, this blog is critical. And awesome. And will definitely make you smile. That's what really matters in the world, right? Right.
The most important thing about this blog is that it's here not just for me, but for you. With such a small (but growing!) polyamorous community online, it's important that we advocate for each other and speak up. This is my way of doing so. Please feel free to ask me questions or request topics for me to speak on.
[And peruse the links below for a better understanding of what Polycule is all about.]
I’m an introvert, so being around people tires me out. The Meyers-Briggs test I always score INTP or INTJ.
I’m also polyamorous, so I’m around more people daily than most people. My stamina for social interaction is improving, and sometimes I will get very tired of being around my poly blob, but still want company.
I’m an introvert who sometimes forgets how to be alone. Like last night, Boyfriend #2 was going out, and I was sad that I was going to be alone. But I also WANTED to be alone — to read and sleep and fart and scratch my armpits and maybe masturbate, because I was horny but too tired for sex. You know, usual alone person stuff.
I’m perfectly capable of keeping my own company. I read, paint, watch awful shows, update my three blogs, write novels, put on costumes and create fantastic photo shoots… I have plenty of things that I can only really do when I’m alone. Sometimes I just need to remember that I actually LIKE having alone time.
And that’s my ramble for the day. Other poly people — are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?
THIS, THIS, THIS!!!!!!!! I need to remember this too. Thank you for posting this. (Introvert to the extreme but push myself for love.)
Amusingly, most people I know who are poly identify as introverts (like me). While many of the extroverts I know can’t understand how people can be poly. I wonder if a study has ever been done.
For the record, The Polyamorous Misanthrope is an INTJ. I do know several poly extroverts, though. Interestingly enough, they tend to be ENTP males.
ENFJ hyper-extreme extrovert here. I’ve got one similar partner, and one who sort of teeters in between introvert and extrovert.
However, I recommend everyone (not just introverts, but them especially) read The Introvert Advantage by Dr. Laney. Every one of my introvert friends who has read it has literally sworn that it changed their lives. No longer did they feel like an outcast, or felt like what was natural to them was not appropriate. The fact is we live in an extrovert world, and it’s hard for extroverts to accept introversion, which is why it’s equally as important for extroverts to read this, so you can learn to care for your introverted loveydoves.
Also, “introvert” doesn’t just mean prefers alone time, and “extrovert” doesn’t just mean prefers loud raging parties. The most defining differences are that introverts refuel and regain energy by being alone, and extroverts refuel by being around people. When I’m feeling low on energy, I want to surround myself with friends and cling to my roommates and lovers. When my introverted roommate needs to recharge, she spends time alone.
The other difference is how you process your emotions. Extroverts process externally, meaning they will verbalize their feelings as they work through them so that they can come to a conclusion. It doesn’t mean they need someone to tell them how to handle things or how to feel, it’s just that we need to bounce our ideas off of someone and gauge how we feel about our feelings by hearing them out loud and talking through each option. Introverts would prefer to only verbalize their feelings after they’ve worked through them completely on their own and come to a conclusion, and sometimes they still don’t want to open up about themselves. And that is okay. It’s not an extrovert’s place to demand their introverted friends talk about their feelings. It will make your introverted friend shut you out, because that is simply not how they process.
And this has been your fun facts for the day. Go read The Introvert Advantage. Erryone.